The Accidental FarmerLearning how to farm on the fly

Five years ago, I bought 17 acres with a farmhouse, barn, garage/shop and animals. Lots of animals.

The previous owner had left 2 peacocks, 4 geese, a male miniature goat, two miniature horses, 3 sheep, 1 donkey stud, a cat that nobody laid claim to, a very handsome rooster who attacked any woman and 250 pigeons. All were pets. We were going to talk about the details afterward….

I gave the horses away to a good home. If callers mentioned prices first, I put them at the back of the list. If they asked lots of questions about the animals, they went to the front. I traded the donkey and a young ram for two wiener piglets I have yet to collect. With the money I saved on trimming hooves, I am still way ahead. I gave the goat to my book-keeper who likes goats. Sadly, the neighbours’ dogs finished off the peacocks and most of the geese which I kind of liked and would have kept. I dealt with the pigeons. The old ram got made into sausage after he hit me one too many times.

My plan was to buy the property, remove the magnitudes of trash, old vehicles, travel trailers and boats, fix the fencing, kill the weeds, deal with the animals and resell. The price was right, I had the skills.

A year later, I listed the property aggressively.

Then I met a woman, in every sense of the word. She sold her house and now, we farm together. I also became an accidental father to her two beautiful daughters. The best laid plans….not that I have any regrets.

Today, our garden is the size of a city lot. We have lots of manure. Chicken, sheep, cow, pig…you name it. My partner cans, freezes and juices. She makes wine, apple cider and beer, an added bonus. We have layer hens. We raise meat chickens, turkeys, steers and pigs. When we require meat, we raise it. If we can grow it, we do. We purchase hay and grain by the ton. We have expanded our fenced pasture to accommodate more animals. We have learned how to slaughter and butcher and how to wrestle large steers, ornery pigs and cranky rams so we can doctor them. We’ve spent a cold Christmas Eve in the barn with a sick animal. We learned how to get gas out of a bloated calf with a long hose.

It is a lot of work and even when it isn’t, someone has to be around to keep an eye on things. Getting away for a few days, let alone a few weeks, is difficult. Few people are experienced dealing with livestock and finding those who are and convincing them to stay at your home is tough. How do you get a steer back in the pasture when he is sure he wants to eat the neighbour’s garden? What size syringe do you use to inject a lamb with antibiotics and where the heck to you inject it? These are not skills many people have.

We feel blessed for the help and advice we have received from our farmer and veterinary friends; the couple who came and showed me how to slaughter 2 steers and 2 pigs and wouldn’t accept any money; the vet who answers his cell phone when I call at 8:30 Sunday night; the farmer who waited home on a Friday night to give me antibiotics and instructions I desperately needed to save piglets gravely ill with pneumonia.

I hope this blog will help others who are considering or struggling with raising their own food or trying to get a small farm off the ground. Finding help is not easy as farmers are a dying breed and most of the really knowledgeable local farmers could care less about the internet. You have to find them the old fashioned way, in their gum boots, in the barn.